Beating a Dead Dog

PMF is a democratic band in a lot of respects, but when it comes to the songwriting craft, it becomes more difficult to maintain that. All three of us write words and music, so we typically take turns introducing home-recorded songs to the rest of the band. Sometimes parts for other instruments are already written and sometimes there are just rough guidelines. Other times it's as open as "play what you want and we'll see what happens." There's really no formula for us, so occasionally we will run into a section of a song where we have three completely different perspectives. So who gets the final say?

Last night, Kirk heard something he wanted tweaked in "Dog Milk" that Ryan and I never really had issues with in the past. We had been playing a part of the song the same way for probably close to a year, but we weren't playing it exactly the same way. For one of us to add or subtract a single beat felt unnatural. For Kirk, it was important that Ryan and I were tight and synchronized. Sure, we outnumbered him, but we still owed the songwriter his vision (or at least his vision of PMF's vision), so we descended into an obsessive half-hour of counting madness over a two-second part of the song that never shows up again. The final tally was 3 beats followed by 5 beats and a lot of bruises.

Was it worth it? Sources say yes, but only Captain Kirk knows for sure. The funny thing is that he didn't even write the part in the first place! When the band played the song for the first time, I wasn't present, but I received recordings of the practice the next day. One of the takes featured either Wally or Ryan (I'll have to do some digging) playing a sped-up part at the end of one of the measures in the intro. It may have been an accident for all I know, but it was unique and worth learning for the next practice. We finally played it together, but I was the only one doing the part. The rest of the guys threw rocks at me until I was unconscious. When I woke up, Kirk decided the part could stay, under one condition: we must fight about it in a year's time and post it on YouTube. We shook on it.

Now please allow this close-up of my giant beard-garden to continue the story (I assure you there are finally other faces in this episode):